Managing the Household - Part 1 Cleaning

Something that I have had to learn how to deal with when becoming a new mom is learning how to manage the household with my husband. I am a pseduo-SAHM and I work full time. My husband also works full-time. Both of us work about 30-45 minutes (depending on traffic) away from work, resulting in at least 1-1.5 hours per workday of commuting time. As a nurse, I am fortunate that I work 3 days per week (12 hour shifts). This leaves me with 4 whole days that I am at home, hence the pseudo-SAHM ;)

As any couple knows, managing all the household duties can be difficult. It's definitely made more complex once baby comes along. Before our baby, I had 4 whole days off work, so I had no problem with spending one day running errands, cleaning, organizing, balancing the checkbook, laundry, etc. I had all the free time in the world during those 4 days off. Sometimes I try to think about how I spent my free time on those days. I always felt busy - that's laughable nowadays.

Anyways. Post child. How do I fit doing all those tasks in? Is it really my responsibility now that I have a child to take care of? Should I ask my husband who works 50-60 hours minimum per week (compared to my 40) to be helping out more? AH! The headaches and conundrums.

First and foremost with managing a household, the most important thing is COMMUNICATION. My husband and I sat down and discussed all of what we NEED done during the week, what can maybe be slacked upon, and what is super low priority. Some things like the floor being vacuumed/swept/mopped is becoming more of a priority because we have a baby crawling on the ground ALL the time and we also have a pet. Other things like deep cleaning have become a much lower priority that we will just "tolerate" because we would rather have family time.

Things that we deemed high priority (1xper week) were:
- working out (both of us)
- family dinners (on nights I am not working)
- balancing the checkbook & budgeting/financial planning
- laundry
- cleaning (some items)
- grocery shopping
- yard work

Things that had medium priority but could be slacked on:
- cleaning (some items)

Low priority (1x/month) items:
- deep cleaning
 
After discussing what we thought were high priority needs we also communicated about our schedules and how much time we had for our higher priority items.

My biggest concern/complaint that I communicated was that I was taking care of P all day long, and trying to work out, and it didn't leave me a ton of time to do some other things. I had felt like all of our high priority things were on my plate. B was under the presumption that I had more time to do these because I had 4 days off work. He didn't really stop to contemplate that I was also doing all the SAHM things with P.

One concern B had was that cleaning would take too long. For someone who has only maybe 5-10 minutes of spare time here and there, would cleaning be possible? Spending 1 hour cleaning everything isn't really feasible anymore now that we have a baby. 

We devised a plan for tackling cleaning, which is what I felt I needed help with most. This way, I could tackle making dinner, working out, and other household things, while tag-teaming the cleaning. We made a checklist (my specialty) of all the cleaning chores that we felt needed to get done during the week. This checklist is posted in our "hub" so that we can see it frequently, see what needs to be done, and when the last time something was done. We initial it once it's done. We broke down the chores into easy tasks that take approximately 5-10 minutes each. Nothing is ever that urgent where if it doesn't get done, we are having a mental breakdown. We simply see that it wasn't done the week prior and put it at the top of our list for the following week.

The other benefit of doing the chores like this is that everything maintains a baseline level of cleanliness. One thing B didn't realize was that if you keep things moderately clean, then when you go to clean them the next time, you don't have to put as much effort in because you aren't deep cleaning you are just maintaining. Ding ding ding. It finally clicked with him :)

Another thing that my husband and I are constantly doing is re-evaluating everything. We check in and let each other know how things are going. So far with our checklist, we are doing great. But we both know that if we are getting overwhelmed or feeling like this isn't the best way of doing things, then we can always re-evaluate a better way.

Check out below for what our checklist looks like.

Calculating Calories Per Day

Determining Caloric Needs

On many of the mom blogs/facebook sites I follow, one question that I see arising quite frequently is “How do you maintain your milk supply while losing weight?” Another question in this topic I also see is “What method do you use to try and lose weight?”

As I have said before, I think the best method of losing weight is simply, diet and exercise. This coming from my health/exercise science and nursing degrees. Yes there are other methods out there, and they may work for you. However, I am just going to talk about what I do, which is diet and exercise.

First and foremost, DIET. UGH… that ugly, four letter, curse word. Right?! WRONG! As I have discussed before I strictly calorie count and give myself 1-2 cheat meals per week (usually on the weekend). But how many calories should you eat per day?

Many programs and apps can work great for calorie counting and logging. If you type in your age, weight, gender and height, they may also provide you with a daily calorie limit. However, be weary, those sites simply use an equation but can often times be robotic. What I mean by this is that they use a formula to calculate your daily calorie count and how much to decrease your intake by to lose weight. However, they may not take into consideration your BMR and the minimum that you need per day. There is actually a point where going too low in your daily intake becomes harmful, and if you go past that point, you might actually retain weight.

One of the better ways to determine your calorie count is to use the Mifflin St. Jeor equation. This equation helps determine your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate). That’s fancy lingo for the minimum amount of calories your body needs for essential functions like breathing, digesting, etc. (aka to stay alive). This is a number you should never go under.   

Men
10 x weight (kg) + 6.25 x height (cm) – 5 x age (y) + 5
Women
10 x weight (kg) + 6.25 x height (cm) – 5 x age (y) – 161.

To determine your weight in kilograms take your weight in pounds and divide it by 2.2

To determine your height in centimeters take your height in inches and multiply by 2.54

Example:

A 130 pound (59kg), 5’8” (172cm), 29 year old, female

[10 x 59] + [6.25 x 172] – [5 x 29] – 161

590 + 1076 – 145 – 161

1360 calories/day.

So as you can see, per the example, that individual should not eat less than 1360 calories per day. This is the minimum number that she would need to maintain her bodily functions. This number is presuming you basically sit on a couch all day and do nothing but breathe! Hehe. This doesn’t include the amount of calories burned walking around, doing chores, exercising, or producing breast milk.

If you play around with the numbers, you can see that as you age and lose weight, your body needs less calories per day. That is because as we age our metabolic rate decreases naturally. When you lose weight, there is less of “you” (i.e. fat) that your body has to maintain, thus decreasing your basal metabolic rate.

Total Calories Per Day

To determine how many calories you need per day including exercise/physical activity, you will need to multiply your BMR by your physical activity level (see chart below). This is just an estimate based on average physical activity level. When trying to determine what category you are in, be honest with yourself. If you over estimate or under estimate, then you might not see the appropriate results. 

Lifestyle	Description	Multiplier
Sedentary	Little to no regular exercise	1.2
Mild Activity	Exercise for at least 20 minutes, 1-3x per week. (ex. Bicycling, jogging, basketball, swimming, etc). Also includes no exercise but a busy lifestyle that requires frequent walking for long periods.	1.375
Moderate Activity	Exercise for at least 30-60 minutes, 3-4x per week.	1.55
Heavy (Labor Intensive) Activity	Exercise for 60 minutes or greater 5-7x per week. Labor intensive jobs also qualify for this level (i.e. brick laying, carpentry, construction work, farming, landscaping, etc).	1.7
Extreme Activity	Exceedingly active or demanding activities such as marathon training, multiple daily training sessions, assembly line jobs. Note: this level of activity is very difficult to achieve and highly unlikely for the general population.	1.9

Let’s use the same girl from the above example. Let’s presume that she exercises for about 60 minutes 3-4 times per week and on the days she doesn’t workout, she has a fairly laborious job where she walks 3-4 miles during her workday. She would probably qualify under “moderate activity” using the chart from above.

If we used her total calories earlier (1360) and multiplied them by 1.55 (moderate activity), then we would get 2108. So this female needs about 2100 calories per day to MAINTAIN her weight. This number does not include calories from breastfeeding/milk production.

Breastfeeding Caloric Needs:
To continue this example above and presuming the individual breastfeeds, one would need to add in the additional calories burned from producing milk. This equates to about 20 calories per ounce of milk produced. For those who exclusively pump (like myself) the amount of calories is super easy to figure out. I simply multiply my daily total pumped (usually around 50 ounces) by 20. This number equates to about 1000 calories (for me) burned from breastmilk production.

For those who actually breastfeed from the boob, the way to determine caloric needs is a little more difficult. Some individuals will say “breast feeding is about 300-400 calories more per day.” This may be true, but if you have an over-supply, twins to feed, or your baby just consumes a lot more than the average baby, your production may be higher than 20 ounces per day. The best way to determine how many ounces is by weighing your baby pre and post feed using a baby scale. This type of scale can convert to ounces. By subtracting your pre from your post, you can see what your baby actually consumed. You could do this for every feed or just do it once and then multiply by how many feeds per day baby has (more of an estimate). [Note: make sure you weigh after a good feed, rather than just a snack].

Once you determine this number, you need to add it to your total activity that you previously calculated. So for the female above, let’s say she also produces 50 ounces of breastmilk per day, she would need to eat 2100 (daily total) + 1000 calories (breast milk). That’s about 2360 calories per day. That’s a lot of calories just to maintain your weight!

For those of you who are dieting and breastfeeding and wondering why your supply isn’t being maintained, check out how many calories you are eating per day. If you are trying to lose weight and cutting your calories significantly, then your body may not be getting enough food to make the milk your babe needs!

SUMMING IT UP

1.  Figure out your BMR
2. Use your BMR and multiply it with your daily activity level  
3. Add in calories from breast feeding.

The number you get is an estimate that you need to eat to maintain your weight!

Stay Tuned for more information on creating a calorie deficit, to help lose weight!

Finding Time For Fitness... My Top 10 Tips

I am constantly seeing a lot of gals posting in groups about how to find time to workout with little ones. Let me tell you, it's definitely quite a challenge. BUT it is definitely do-able. This is my list of top 10 tips to help keep you in the exercise groove.


1. COMMUNICATE YOUR GOALS: I think this the most important step/tip. Make sure that your S.O. knows your goals and plans for exercise. This will not only be another person to help hold you accountable, but it will also be another person to help you achieve your goal. Talk about ways that you need help so you can meet your goal. My husband is able to work out at work during his work day. He also has a goal of attending a weekly morning circuit class. I know that he needs to get up and going on that day, so I do what I can to make sure that happens. It's vice versa for my exercise goals as well.

2. TIME AUDIT YOURSELF: I used to find myself checking my phone for any updates, and then slowly getting on various social media sites and "browsing." Soon I would realize I had spent 30 minutes doing NOTHING. What a waste. Check out how your day is spread out. What do you do in your free time? How much time do you spend watching TV, on social media, or doing other empty things? If you can spend 30 minutes on social media, then you definitely can fit in a workout! See where your time is spent!

3. MAKE A PLAN: The hardest part about sticking with an exercise routine or fitness plan can be simply figuring out what to do and when. Figure out what you want to do and how often. The next best thing you can do is create a tentative, and reasonable, schedule. Set a workout plan for 4 weeks. See if you can stick to it. It doesn't have to be every day. Start small, 2-3 days per week, and go from there. After the 4 weeks are up, re-evaluate if the duration, frequency and effort required was too much, too little or just right. Think ATTAINABLE goals.

4. WAKE UP AND GET DRESSED: As silly as it sounds, getting up and getting dressed to workout will help motivate you to be active during the day. They say "dress for success" and I think it totally applies to fitness/exercise. When you get up and get going you are motivated, but when you are actually dressed and ready to go, then there is one less excuse for why you can't do it! Also, when you are already dressed to workout, it's easier to be able to get those random 10 minutes of exercise in because you don't have to go change.

5. LIMIT SCREEN TIME: The only time I spend watching TV is while I am pumping during the day. I use that as my reprieve. Other than that, the TV is off during the day. Because it's off, I find myself doing more stuff around the house, which is much healthier than just sitting around all day. Yes, TV can be a rewarding way to relax. BUT, the way you feel after you workout is WAY better than any deep couch sitting. If you really need to have TV time, give yourself a limit. Heck, maybe even use the TV as a reward for AFTER you exercise! On top of all of it, if you limit TV time for you, then you are also teaching your child(ren) good habits for the future.

6. WORKOUT WITH YOUR KIDS: Whether your child(ren) is/are a few months old or a few years old, it can be really hard to find that alone time to workout. Sometimes it's impossible. If you are having a hard time finding the time to workout alone because of your kids, try including them in your workout. Having them see mommy workout is the best thing for them. It helps teach them that being healthy is important, which hopefully will inspire them to want to be healthy. If your baby is super little, try using your baby as weight for your workouts. You can do various exercises such as squats and lunges while holding your baby. Baby wearing is great for getting a walk or mild cardio (i.e the elliptical). If your kids are older, try having them do a body weight circuit with you. Things like jumping jacks, high knees, pushups, planks, etc. You can even make it a competition between mommy and child! During the summer, the play gym is a great place to get your fitness on! For more ideas on fitness with kids try googling "mommy and me workouts" "jungle gym workout" or "body weight circuit"


7. LEARN TO SAY NO: Sometimes as a mom, you find yourself being pulled in EVERY direction. Play date here, laundry there, visitors tomorrow, cleaning this, etc. The hardest thing is being able to say "no." We apparently have to be super mom and do it ALL. Get that mentality out of your head! It's okay to say no. Make what is important to you a priority. After all, it is YOUR life and YOUR body. When you are 50 years old, will you look back and regret the one extra play date your child didn't get per week because you wanted to have some time to exercise? Or would you regret not ever taking time out to exercise because you were constantly putting everyone else first? Also, block time for your workouts. If you know you want to workout 3 days per week, try to set 3 specific times for workouts only. If anything else comes up, then say "no" because that's your blocked workout time! Most people understand that we moms have busy lives. People understand when we have to prioritize. Learn to tell people "no" on occasion so you can keep yourself healthy! The world won't end because you put yourself first!

8. SOME IS BETTER THAN NONE: Sometimes our days are hectic. Okay lets be honest. We are moms. They are ALWAYS hectic. Finding time can be difficult. If you wake up and take a look at your schedule and realize that the 30 minutes you intended to use to work out isn't going to happen, don't just give up! Just because you can't fit the 30 minutes of working out in, doesn't mean that 10 minutes wouldn't do SOME good. Yes 30 minutes may be more optimal, but if all you have is 10 minutes, then that's all you have. It's better to get some then none! So don't just give up when you realize it may not be a full workout. Take a 10 minute walk instead of a 30 minute workout. Even if you have to break up your workout and do 10 minutes at three different times, some is still better than none!

9. BE FORGIVING: Remember that you are human and there is no such thing as a "supermom." We are all just doing the best we can at any given time. There are just some days when life happens and fitness has to take the back seat. That's okay! Some days you just need a lazy day! That's okay too (as long as you don't make the lazy days ALL the time :) ). Give yourself a break. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's okay. If you miss a day, forgive yourself, let it go, and focus on your next day! 

10. LOVE YOURSELF: Try not to be super critical of yourself. The best advice I ever received was to be able to love others, you have to love yourself. It's so true. Don't be down on yourself because of what you look like, what you once were and no longer are, etc. You are a mom! You are a rockstar! You are AMAZING! Love who you are!